Sayonara
by yamimitsukai
Summary: Naruto's true dream is not becoming the Hokage. It is something completely different. What is his actual dream and will it ever come true?


**Hey everyone! Welcome to my newest story! Please give it a try, it was something that I thought about in bed and the idea would not leave me alone. Enjoy! **

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Sayonara-

Naruto Uzumaki was the resident jinjuriki of Konoha, the village hidden in leaves in Fire Country. As the jailor of the legendary nine-tailed fox Kyuubi, who attacked the village twelve years ago, Naruto was the village piranha. Anything terrible that would happen to the villagers and Naruto would be blamed. Now, Naruto was not brilliant like some of his classmates in the Ninja Academy, but nor was he stupid. He had noticed the hated glares, overheard the whispers as he would walk pass, and sense the irrational fear and disgust that any villager would not hide. Naruto didn't know why, and he was not sure he even wanted to know why everyone seemed to hate him.

He had thought that when he become a genin of Konoha, a rookie ninja, and trained with his new team, that things would change for the better.

They didn't. Life got harder.

After the graduation test, which Naruto had failed, he was told the secret of the village. The Yondiame Hokage sealed the Kyuubi, the King of the Bijuu, inside of him at birth. It was done to protect the village and the villagers, who had and still show him contempt.

Now that Naruto knew the truth, his mentality degraded. Being alone for nearly all of his life as well being scorned by the people around him caused Naruto to have self-confidence issues as well as become mentally unstable. He took everything anyone said to him to heart and believed the words coming from their mouths. Those people were smarter than him, right? They had always called him stupid in the academy, so it must be true. He was the dead last, the dope, the failure; why Iruka-sensi had let him graduate after the incident with Mizuki was astonishing. Why would one of Naruto's favorite people let him graduate? It made no sense. What also amazed Naruto was that Iruka-sensi had taken a hit for him. For him!

Why? Why? Why? WHY?!

That was probably the last nice thing anyone had done fore Naruto in a while.

Team 7.

The team with the prodigy, the book-smart girl, and the dead-last.

The last loyal Uchiha, the fan girl, and demon brat. All trained by the famed Hatake Kakashi.

Naruto had spent hours each day with his team and every day spent made him more depressed. He didn't know what was wrong, it just got difficult to keep smiling and to act like nothing was wrong. Although Naruto didn't know it, his daily interactions with his team slowly disintegrated his mentality even more than it already was.

**changechangechange**

After the Chunin exams were finished and the team was issued to start team training again, Naruto, Sasuke Uchiha, and Sakura Haruno found themselves waiting for their sensi yet again. It had only been a couple of hours, so they were expecting another hour at least to wait for Kakashi to appear. Naruto was sitting at the edge of the bridge, for once not able to muster enough of energy to act like his loud personality mask declared. Sakura and Sasuke didn't really care, they were glad for the quiet atmosphere for once. They both assumed that Naruto was just tired and would be fine when Kakashi-sensi appeared.

Sakura had not yet thanked Sasuke for saving her from the demon boy Gaara, from Suna, the village hidden in Sand in the country of Wind. During the Chunin exams, there was a plan to invade Konoha involving the Suna ninjas and the Sound ninjas headed by a former leaf ninja, Orochimaru. Due to some personal grudges and an ambition to know all of the jutsus in the entire world, Orochimaru had destroyed a portion of the village as well as killed the Sandiame Hokage, Sarutobi Hiruzen, leaving behind chaos when he finally admitted defeat and left.

"Sasuke-kun. I never got the chance to thank you for saving me from that sand demon boy." Sakura spoke shyly, praying that Naruto would not hear her, even though she had checked to be out of his hearing range. Sasuke clenched his hands as he remembered that day. He was defeated and the _dope_ had managed to beat someone Sasuke could not. Yet again.

"I did not save you. It was Naruto." Sasuke spat out. _Not that I would have wanted to save you._

"What? But that's not possible Sasuke-kun! Naruto is weak and stupid! He could have _never _been able to beat him. Don't be so modest! You are strong, smart, and know many jutsus. So it must have been you to defeat the demon boy! Not Naruto!" Sakura was never one to hide what she was thinking; she would usually speak her mind if something unexpected reared its head. Like Sasuke-kun not admitting to defeating that Gaara kid.

"I'm telling you it was Naruto. Although how that baka managed to do it is beyond me. I don't see why he should be a ninja. Even though he may have beat this one opponent I was not able to, he still should quit being a ninja." Sasuke growled lightly under his breath. That Naruto was becoming a threat to his power! Sasuke wanted, no needed, to know how the dope had managed to get all of his power. Anything that seemed powerful to the Last Loyal Uchiha of Konoha should be his!

Sakura nodded in agreement. "You're right, Sasuke-kun!" Naruto should quit! He is always so loud and annoying and useless; he really should just die. All he really does is pull pranks on people and make them mad at him. No one enjoys his company and everyone who comes within ten feet of him is a danger of loosing their hearing. You are right all the time, Sasuke-kun!" Sasuke smirked as he heard Sakura's little speech. She was really a fanatic over him. Sasuke turned to look into the trees to wait for Kakashi-sensi as Sakura continued to gush compliments about him and curses towards Naruto.

Unknown to the two teenagers on team 7, Naruto was able to hear every single word that they said. It wasn't anything that he hadn't heard before, but today, for some reason, it everything they had just said seemed to stick to him.

_Weak and stupid. _

_Never be able to._

_Not Naruto._

_Baka._

_Quit being a ninja._

_Loud._

_Annoying._

_Useless._

_No one. _

_Just die!_

Silently, Naruto stood up and walked away from the meeting spot. His two teammates never noticed him leaving. Did they really want him have his actual dream? Not becoming a Hokage, but being able to die? He was never able to do it before. Naruto had never been to scared to kill himself; he could never actually find a reason to do so before now. The villagers had said it all the time, but it had never bothered him before now. As Naruto walked to the place where he would spend his final moments, his mind drifted to before, his childhood, and before the Chunin exams.

_Memories-_

The day Naruto was kicked out of the orphanage; it was a cold day in December. As he walked around the village with nothing but a large t-shirt and small pants on his seven year old too small body, he saw groups of people coming together around a brightly lit tree. Most of the houses had lights on and there were groups of people in each one. Everyone had looked so happy and joyous being together; Naruto didn't understand why. People around him only glared at him muttered under their breaths bad words about him. Was it because of something he had done? He didn't know. Naruto always tried to be good to the people watching over the children in the orphanage: he would do dishes, even if the other kids would push him and the dishes to the floor often, he always kept his corner clean, and would sometimes clean the entire room! But whatever he did, the matrons only shouted at him and punished him by locking him in a small closet. It would be many hours before someone would open the door again and let him go to the bathroom and get water and a slice of bread.

But now he was on the street and the matron had told him to stay away from her and the building. Of course Naruto would listen to her; she was in charge of him, and knew what was best for him. So Naruto continued walking around Konoha that night watching other people be happy and give many hugs to each other and square boxes with bows on top. Maybe, Matron would enjoy a box with a bow? And he could finally get a hug from her? But she told him never to come back, so he couldn't deliver the box to her. Naruto frowned as he thought about his problem. Perhaps, he could just leave it on the doorstep? Then she wouldn't have to know he came back? Naruto had learned how to write his name by watching the older kids practice handwriting at the orphanage. It wasn't perfect, but it still could be read.

Naruto found a box with a bow left in a trashcan and silently took it. Using a pencil he carried around with him everywhere, he slowly wrote his name and the Matron's name on the white paper slip he found on the box. Sneaking towards the orphanage, he dropped off the box on the doorstep and left.

The next week Naruto found himself in front of the Sandiame hokage. He had accidently bumped into him when walking and old man had taken Naruto's hand and led towards his office. The next thing Naruto knew, he was in an apartment on the shadier streets of Konoha. The hokage barely talked to him after that and Naruto was left to learn how to cook and keep an entire apartment clean by himself.

When Naruto started the academy, he was forced to go. He didn't know anything about being a ninja and the hokage had come to his apartment two years after placing him there to take him to the academy to learn how to be a ninja. Not wanting to disappoint on of the only people who would talk to him, Naruto had just grinned and said that he would work really hard at being a ninja and one day take the Hokage's job. The old man had just smiled and left after that.

Naruto tried to be nice to all of the kids there, but they just didn't like him and their parents would tell them not to play with him. Once again, Naruto was isolated from people his age, by adults. However, he was fin with it. He spent his entire life living like that, he could continue doing it.

The teachers outright hated him. They would fail him on tests, on practical exams, anyway they could think of. Naruto would only smile and pretend nothing was wrong. His mask of not about what people thought of him grew until it consumed his very being. He would hide behind his mask every time he was outside his apartment, just smiling, pretending nothing could touch him, not words, not glares, and not the hate. The years at the academy were cruel and depressing; but Naruto endured. Barely. Only one thing kept him remotely sane. Iruka-sensi. During his final year at the academy, Naruto grew closer to him and became dependant on Iruka to always be there, just as a source of familiarity. And for one year, Naruto wasn't quite so alone.

The team introductions were useless. Naruto had lied and told what everyone had expected to hear. His likes. Ramen. Sakura. Pranks. Dislikes. Waiting for ramen. People who thought they were the best. Dreams. To become Hokage.

What he had actually wanted to say was that he didn't know what he liked. Ramen was what Iruka-sensi had given him as a treat and it tasted good, but he didn't know what was something to like. How could he? It was one of those things that didn't make sense. Just like Sakura. She gave him attention, right? So was he supposed to like her? And pranks, he just did that just because. He didn't have a reason, was one needed? The same with dislikes. What was dislikes? How does someone know what they don't like? But then, how do they know they do? Dreams. To become Hokage was what the old man wanted him to achieve. Didn't he? He had told Naruto to try his best, no matter what. But Naruto wanted to die. That was his major goal. That's why he wore his orange jumpsuit all the time. Someone had said it could get someone killed, especially if they were ninja, so he had bought it. And his pranks. He did it to make people angry so they would come after him. Was there something stopping them from ending his life when they caught him?

He just could not figure it out.

**changechangechange**

Naruto looked over the head of the Yondiame on top of the Hokage monument. The village looked so nice from up here. It was the last sight he wanted to see.

**changechangechange**

Kakashi arrived at the team-meeting place three hours and seventeen minutes late. He walked with his book in his hand, and giggling softly. After coming behind two of his genins, he put the book away and cleared his throat. Sasuke and Sakura whirled around in shock at the silent approach and Sakura immediately started yelling at him for being late.

"Sa, sa. Where is your other teammate?" Kakashi asked. Sakura pointed behind her without even looking.

"He's over there, sensi! Don't start getting blind!" Kakashi lifted is only eye.

"Sakura, there is no one there." She whirled around a yell ready to burst until she noticed that there was nobody there.

"But, but, but. He was here! He was here an hour ago! Wasn't he Sasuke-kun?" Sakura shouted. Sasuke grunted in agreement. Kakashi felt like rolling his eyes, well eye, but he was a professional. And rolling eyes is not in the job description.

"Well he's obviously not here now. Did something happen?" Sakura looked nervous.

"No, Sasuke-kun and I were just talking about him but he was way over there, so he couldn't have heard us!" She defended herself. Kakashi rolled his eye that was hidden. _Honestly, genins are so stupid sometimes._

"Sakura, did it ever occur that ninjas can use chakra to enhance their senses?"

"But Naruto is an idiot! He would never think of that!"

"Hm."

Kakashi sighed. "What did you say about him?" _He was too young to handle kids!_

"Well, we were talking about the Chunin exams and how Naruto is useless, except that he managed to defeat Gaara. But that he should still quit being a ninja and I also might have said something about how he should die." Sakura mumbled. Sasuke's expression didn't change as he wondered what their sensi was getting at. Naruto was a dope and the dead last. He had barely any skills as a ninja. He might be a good friend sometimes, but was still a loser.

Kakashi on the other hand was livid.

"You told someone that they should die? What is the matter with you?" He hissed at Sasuke and Sakura.

"I did not tell him that!" Sakura protested.

"You still said it. Come one, we are going to go look for him." Kakashi marched out of the training fields with part of his team following. _Naruto, don't you dare do anything stupid!_

**changechangechange**

Naruto kept looking at the image of the village. Why was something so beautiful when the individuals could not be seen? As the wind blew against his face, Naruto closed his eyes and smiled for his final moment. Why today he was affected by someone else's words, he did not know, just like many other things. But he didn't care anymore. The old man was gone, his team wanted him dead, Iruka-sensi had another life and wouldn't miss for long, if at all, and no one else wanted to be with him. Things like that had never been crucial to him before, but times change.

He had left a note on the mountain if anyone wanted to even read it. Naruto supposed it was a polite thing to do.

He walked to the edge of the mountain and leaned forward.

**changechangechange**

Three of the four members of team 7 slowly trudged up the Hokage monument. They all knew it was Naruto's favorite spot and Kakashi was hoping Naruto would be there so they could all talk. He knew Naruto had a difficult life, but Naruto was strong, right? He had endured twelve years of suffering and now he had people who were there for him! Kakashi was there for him! Why did he never come to him for anything besides training? _Maybe because he knew you preferred to be with Sasuke._

But that wasn't true!

_Yes it is and you know it. _Kakashi hurried his pace up the mountain, not caring if his other students kept up or not.

Sakura was feeling guilty. _You should have never said those things. Why do you try to impress Sasuke so much that you hurt other people?_

Sasuke-kun was the last Uchiha! He had suffered so much and was so talented as a ninja, whereas Naruto wasn't!

_You know that's not true. Naruto has made outstanding progress. You are the one who is not talented. Why did you become a ninja?_

So I could prove to others what I could do!

_And have you done that, or just tried to impress one person?_

Sakura stifled a sob that threatened to come out of her mouth. She noticed Kakashi hurrying in front of her and also increased her pace.

Sasuke didn't know whether to feel guilty or not. Naruto was the dope, the loser, the dead last, and he also Sasuke's only friend. The blond had always kept him distracted, so he would never focus on one thing, and keep his spirits up even if Sasuke didn't act like it. Naruto would always be so cheerful and bright no matter what, why had he antagonized over his defeating somebody?

_You are jealous. You're afraid he will be stronger than you._

That is not true! I am the strongest! No matter what he learns or how much he trains, he can't beat me!

_Admit it, you are afraid to show him you actually care because you want to be an avenger. You want to kill Itachi. You want this. You want that. _

Itachi must die! He killed the entire clan!

_But you don't know why. _

Yes I do! He wanted to prove his strength!

_No. That's what he told you. You know it isn't true. Itachi always thought things through and never did anything without a proper reason. You just don't want to find that reason. _

SHUT UP!

Sasuke wished the annoying voice in his head would never speak again. It was trying to stray him from his path as an avenger, just like Naruto! When he found that loser, he was going to tell him exactly what he was to Sasuke. A friend. An annoying friend, but a friend nonetheless.

Looking up, he saw Kakashi and Sakura sprinting ahead of him. Quickly he caught up to them as they climbed the mountain.

**changechangechange**

Naruto smiled as he felt himself slip off the mountain. It was like flying! The ground came closer as Naruto closed his eyes, felt the wind surround him as he fell.

"Sayonara." He whispered as he felt his consciousness leave him for the last time and blackness darkened his eyes, the light never to return.

"NARUTO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

**Changechangechange**

Team 7 had reached the top of the mountain only to see their teammate fall off the side.

"Sayonara." They all heard.

"NARUTO!!!!!!!!!!!!" They all cried.

Sakura fell to her knees as she saw her teammate fall with a smile on his face. _It's all my fault. _She realized. _It's all my fault!!!! _Tears blurred her vision as choked cries escaped her. She couldn't hold it in any longer and loud sobs flees from her throat as Sakura broke down.

Sasuke sprinted to the side of the mountain where Naruto had fallen.

_Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? WHY?_

"Why did you leave me as well, dope?" Sasuke whispered. "I was just going to tell you how-how I really felt about you." Not moving from his spot, Sasuke stared down at the speck that was Naruto's body at the bottom of the mountain.

_The village, really does look nicer from up here._ Sasuke decided as tears began to pour down his face. Utterly silent sons wracked in throat, but no one except Sasuke or anyone standing in front of him would be able to tell.

Kakashi was in shock. He had lost another person. First Obito, then Rin, and then Minato-sensi, now Naruto. Maybe it was just fate to have any one near him die. He was cursed! He knew it. He should have stayed in ANBU and lived an isolated life instead of trying to be with more people again. Kakashi noticed a piece of white paper on top of the mountain held down by a rock. He sluggishly picked up and unfolded it.

_**To Whoever is reading this: **_

_**I**_ _**just want to say that if you are reading this then you don't know who I am, or you are someone who genuinely cared me. But the only person who did was Iruka-sensi, so then this must be him. Hi Iruka-sensi! I'm sorry I couldn't stay any longer. You see, I just couldn't do it. It has always been my dream to die. Since I have first heard about death, I have wanted to die. It sounded much better than living. You don't have to worry about me any longer. **_

_**Sayonara, **_

_**Naruto Uzumaki **_

Kakashi dropped the note in shock. Naruto thought only Iruka cared for him? Why?

_Maybe because he was the only one to actually act like he enjoyed being around Naruto. _

"Naruto, I'm so sorry." Kakashi murmured, his face like stone.

**changechangechange**

Naruto's funeral wasn't very large. Only a few people came: team 7, team 8, team 10, team Gai, Iruka, the ramen owners, Jiriya, Tsunade, and a woman who no one knew. Naruto was still smiling as his body was burned, his ashes flying away in the wind as all of the genin girls began crying and the boys were unusually silent. The adults just looked on, their grief apparent, but completely used to funerals. The unknown woman however began to sob as she grasped a bracelet on her wrist as she remembered a Christmas present from a little blonde haired boy who had left the bracelet in a box with a bow with his name carefully written on the box. She also remembered the horror of what she had done that Christmas eve. The Matron of the orphanage had tried to find little Naruto Uzumaki in the village for years after to apologize for her behavior, but whenever he had spotted her, Naruto would walk away, to keep his promise of never seeing her again. She sobbed louder as the everyone in the funeral uttered their final words to young boy who died.

"Sayonara, Naruto." Their voices came as one. And all would swear they heard a voice in the winds.

"Thank you."

**The End. **


End file.
